Zoro learns some manners
by Synvamp
Summary: Zoro x Sanji - Zoro starts to have some very 'different' feelings about a certain blonde cook... What is happening to him? And what the heck is he going to DO? Sex & violence sure, but love? intro is short & sweet / R rated version on LJ - COMPLETE


I'm too sexy for this site ;)

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I've decided to pull my fic from this site due to its explicit content, if you would like to keep up with the story please come and read at:

Adult Fan Fiction .Net

Author: Synvamp

Title: Zoro learns some manners

**I have put the URL on my Author page to make it easier to find!**

It has much fluff, fighting, fornication, and friendship - moonlight, bar fights, angst, extreme naughtiness and soon: dress-ups and marines

Sorry for running away, I hope no-one minds a slight detour…

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Disclaimer: all characters belong to Eiichiro Oda …so I'm just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I'm done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - these characters are pure fantasy!

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Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and a prelude to steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)

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**Prologue:**

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Hammocks were half torn down, bodies littered the floor and empty barrels rolled from one side of the room to the other with the swell. All in all a normal Friday night on the Going Merry.

Luffy lay on his back in the middle of the floor, his belly grossly distended by the huge meal he had just consumed. Zoro noticed that he was smiling happily even in his sleep. This was a very good sign. When Luffy had bad dreams, things got broke. It wasn't so bad though… most of those things were attached to Usopp seeing as he slept next to Luffy. Kid was good for a laugh even unconscious. Chopper was asleep on his stomach, rising and falling with each breath Luffy took. Usopp was curled up in a corner, snoring ever so gently. He was out of the game hours ago. Couldn't handle his drink for shit. Robin was reading by the moonlight out on deck. At least she had the sense to stay out of the chaos. Only Nami, Sanji and Zoro remained. Sitting in the corner cross legged, they were still drinking.

Nami had bet the boys that she could out drink them. Again. Sanji had been matching her drink for drink and was beginning to look slightly rosy in the cheeks. Zoro had kept up easily. He didn't want to get too hammered but with these lightweights he knew it wouldn't be a problem. He had plans for tonight.

He nervously gulped down his next shot, and then poured a double. How the hell was he going to do this? What the hell could he say that wouldn't just send that shitty-cook into fits of laughter? What the hell was he even thinking? He didn't like guys! Zoro contemplated his scarred hands; the liquid in his cup was wobbling slightly as they trembled. Shit! His hands didn't tremble! They were steady and calm and solid and dependable, just like him…

Just like he was a fortnight ago anyway. What had that shitty-cook done to him?!

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It had started when they were fighting. Zoro didn't even remember what they were fighting about. Probably Nami. Bitch was always making him do her chores and if he told her to get stuffed Sanji would get all shirty and over-protective. As if that Amazon needed anyone to look out for her! Violent money loving wench…

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All he knew was that he heard the whistle of something whipping through the air and dodged reflexively. Sanji's leg had come crashing down onto the bench seat next to him, breaking it clean in two and sending him crashing to the ground and reaching for his katanas. Adrenaline pumped into his system and his instincts kicked in. By the time he had hit the floor he had spun around in a crouching position and realised he had left his swords in the hold - he'd been oiling the blades. He'd only come into the galley for a fucking snack. He didn't expect the shitty-cook to try to decapitate him as soon as he sat down.

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He shot up trying to land an upper cut on Sanji's precious face, only to be kicked in the head and knocked back to the ground. Sanji stood above him with one foot raised high above his head.

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"Say that again, prick." He said, eyes glinting with malice. He hadn't kicked Zoro very hard - more like a warning kick. The next one wouldn't be so gentle, he could see Sanji's grounded foot shifting angle for a solid axe kick. The same kick that had just turned the bench into a pathetic looking pile of firewood. Usopp would not be happy.

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Zoro let his instincts kick in. He had spent years fighting in bars where his katanas would give him away. He always relished the chance to give someone a nasty surprise so he used to keep them out of the way unless he needed them. He found he didn't need them that much. He put his hands on the rough wooden floorboards and turned his body fluidly, sweeping his leg out to collect Sanji and knock him off balance. Sanji's leg came crashing down as Zoro turned and dropped his shoulder and used his momentum to turn his sweeping kick into a roll.

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The blow landed heavily on Zoro's ribs, knocking the air out of him, but he had achieved his goal. Sanji's foot was swept out from under him and Zoro's body rolling under his knees prevented him from getting good purchase with the other one. He came down like a sack of shit. Zoro leapt to his feet behind him and grabbed the blonde by the collar as he went down. Last thing he wanted was for the guy to get his hands on the boards… then he'd really be in trouble.

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He whipped his hand round and slammed it back sending Sanji spinning to face him and then slamming him back into the galley table. Zoro closed the gap between them quickly, but not quick enough. Sanji lifted his knee and drove it, hard, into Zoro's side. He grunted and then grinned. Sanji was too close to get a really good dig in. Shitty-cook was really in for it this time.

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He closed the gap between their bodies and Sanji squirmed, trying to get one of his legs out to land another kick. Boy was he pissed now. Zoro pushed even closer to the cook and pinned him on the table, struggling like a wild cat. He glared down at the cook and raised a fist. He wasn't going to hit him, he just wanted to see the look on his simpering face as he threatened to ruin it for good. Oh, the things Zoro could do to that delicate upturned nose with one punch. It made him excited just thinking about it.

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At least that's what he thought it was.

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He felt Sanji's sharp hips dig into his groin as he struggled and spat. He could feel hot waves rising from the bottom of his belly. The heat suffused his groin and he felt his breath catch. He realised all too late that he was squarely between Sanji's legs, all his weight pinning the skinny bastard down. And he was getting hard.

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Wait.

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What the fuck?

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He jumped back and let Sanji go. The cook scrambled to his feet; he was absolutely livid.

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"Don't you fucking run you bull necked freak! I'm going to grind you into the deck and make pâté out of you!" He lifted one leg again and turned his upturned foot at a right angle. Roundhouse. Time to go.

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"You're not worth my time, shitty-cook" Zoro choked as he scrambled for the door handle at his back. He had to get out of here before Sanji noticed. He'd never hear the end of it. He clawed desperately at the door and just managed to swing it open and step back as Sanji's kick cleaved the air in front of him. He literally fell through the door and scrambled out onto the deck. He saw Sanji glaring blue murder as he kicked the door closed and it slammed in the blonde's face.

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"You better watch your back, shit head!" The cook's voice rang out behind the door.

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Zoro went straight below deck to the hold. It was good place to think, he couldn't let any of the other see him like this. What the hell had just happened? He had sparred like that with hundreds of men and that had never happened before. He shuddered and drew a deep breath. It was just cause of all that squirming. Shitty cook was wriggling all over the place, rubbing up against me. That's all it was. I've been out on this damn boat with only my hands for company for so long that my body will react to anything. He sighed. That was it. He was just lucky he hadn't picked a fight with Chopper really… At that he grinned. It was fine. It was just one of those things, once they got into port he could find a nice violent woman to bed and everything would be alright.

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At least that was what he thought.

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He had just planned to avoid Sanji for a while and wait until the boat docked, but the shitty-cook was always picking fights with him. Every time he had a bloody meal, there he'd be smooching up to the girls all cocky-like and giving Zoro shit. When Zoro didn't react he'd parade around going on about how marimo was scared of him and didn't want to fight anymore. He could have taken the abuse, but questioning his will to fight?

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Shitty cook crossed the fucking line.

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...but every time they got into a scrap and grabbed each other by the collar screaming abuse, all Zoro could think about was how soft his skin looked and how his hair ticked when it brushed against his face. This meant he couldn't keep fighting - what if he got a hard on again? He just couldn't risk it, and every time he backed down, Sanji's ribbing just got worse. What the hell was going on?

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He spent more and more time sitting alone in the crows nest. It was a nice calm secluded spot and it gave him time away to think. The cool breeze cleared his head and the soft sound of the waves soothed him. He really was born to be on the sea.

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He had decided it was just because Sanji looked like a girl. Those long, long legs, slender hips, tapered waist… Zoro had always liked blondes, temperamental bitches most of them so lots of fun. It was just 'cause he was the only blonde on board… But then again Zoro liked redheads too. Why wasn't he going ape over Nami? Well, he knew why. There was something about her… that bitch was pure evil. He respected that; but still, the idea of getting cosy with the crazed witch made him come out in a cold sweat. What about Robin? She was a bit polished for Zoro but still pretty hot. Why wasn't he waking up hot and sticky over her? This wasn't getting him anywhere.

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He had even tried thinking about Robin and jerking off. Anything to distract himself, and it wasn't such a bad thought… but every time he got close to climax, his mind wandered and he would see that shitty-cook's face. Or more his body. His pale, slender body writhing beneath him. Shit, shit, shit… and before he could stop he'd be coming hard. Left wet and cold and confused as hell. His own body had betrayed him. He knew he didn't like men, it was just his body that didn't know it. And he certainly didn't like that shitty-cook. He was a pain in the ass…

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Now he was thinking about Sanji's ass. Great.

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In the end there was just no way to deny it. He had to confront it and accept it. He was going to be the greatest swordsman of all time, for fuck's sake. He couldn't be defeated by a tiny bit of sexual tension! There were a lot of gay people out there and they still did ok. Not that he was gay... They still fought and killed and people respected them. He just had to face it. He wanted to fuck Sanji. He wanted to fuck him so hard that the stupid condescending grin would be knocked right off his smarmy face. His gorgeous girly face. Fuck. What was he going to do? Sanji wouldn't want him! He spent all his time fawning over those bitches. Zoro started. He hadn't realised he was so…. jealous? Oh shit. What the hell was he going to do?

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He mooched around for days trying to figure it out. He snuck around the galley so that no-one would see him and watched Sanji cook almost every day. Today he was making a pie. He watched his nimble, dexterous fingers doing things that Zoro had never known were possible. He realised that he had never really watched someone cook before. He's also never wished he was a roll of pastry... Damn that guy was good with his hands. He watched his pink lips wrap delicately around his cigarette, slightly parted. He chewed his lips when he was concentrating. Zoro wondered if he did it when he was gasping in ecstasy… or if he was the type who'd just cry out loud. He wondered what sort of noises Sanji would make…

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"Zoro, what are you doing?" Luffy asked, loudly. He was right next to Zoro's head. He had swung down from the deck above and was hanging upside down from the railing of the wheelhouse. His arms stretched unnaturally as he bounced up and down. Zoro jumped and turned away to hide his throbbing erection.

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"Don't jump out at me like that!" he said, cuffing Luffy on the head backhanded with more affection than malice. He wondered what his Captain would make of this. He probably didn't even know what sex was, naïve kid.

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"Well…." whined Luffy "what are you doing? I'm bored!" Luffy let the railing go and fell on his head with a thump before sitting up and smiling, clutching his hat.

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"Uh… ummm…" Zoro's mind whirled. Think quick. "Shitty-cook keeps fighting me so I have to make sure he's in a good mood before I can even get a snack. What's his problem?" Zoro scowled and moved his thighs a little to check. Still hard. Shit.

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"But I thought you liked sparring with Sanji" Luffy said, his wide eyes opened in surprise. The idea of Zoro not wanting a fight clearly didn't fit in with his ideas on life the universe and everything. Why the hell did he say that? Of course he liked to spar with Sanji. Too much. _Way_ too much.

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"I just…. Haven't felt like going easy on him for a while. I might want to hurt him but I don't want to kill the idiot."

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"Ah!" said Luffy and nodded his head. Zoro checked again. Finally! He turned around and went to sit down, as he did his eyes passed over the galley window. Stupid shitty-cook was staring at him. And smiling. Shit. Zoro sat down with a thump, scowling blackly.

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"Hey, Zoro?" said Luffy. He was clearly waiting for Zoro to say something but he didn't really care. What the fuck was he going to do?

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"Are you ok?" Luffy persisted. He looked at Zoro with those big round eyes, all full of concern. Zoro was not in the mood for pity. He needed time to think. Again. There had to be something he could do to get out of this mess.

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"I'm fine" he snapped, standing up again just as abruptly. He didn't even know if he was coming or going anymore. What had that shitty-cook done to him?!

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"Good!" Said Luffy, smiling up at him. He was so damn simple. He shot one rubbery arm back up to the railing and then yanked himself, still in a sitting position, out of view. Zoro just put his head into his hands. He'd just go back up the crows nest and try to think it through. Fuck.

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What was he going to do?

Sanji smirked and pulled on his cigarette. Zoro was watching him again.

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He had noticed that something was wrong a couple of weeks back. Every time he hit the guy he practically ran away. It was so unlike Zoro that he couldn't get his head around it. The guy loved to fight. It was practically all he did. Train; eat like a pig, and fight.

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At first he thought that the guy must be depressed. Not that he gave a shit, but life on a pirate ship was pretty crowded and having the stupid green-haired fuck moping about all the time was starting to piss him off.

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He tried to rile him up to get him back to normal but the guy wouldn't even take the bait. He just sat there looking like he'd been hit by a truck and staring into space. He wouldn't even meet the cook's gaze. Sure, he could get him to fight by pressing his buttons (useless pussy must be a dick-less wonder, second anyone challenged his fighting prowess he just couldn't help himself…) but his heart wasn't in it and as soon as they got to head clashing distance he just scurried off.

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Sanji just couldn't figure it out.

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This new, timid Zoro was kinda endearing in some ways. He had always been attractive. Sanji had male lovers before; not many, but some. He was very picky with his men, unlike with the ladies. They were all so soft and warm… who was he to complain? He had never been interested in Zoro though. Despite his looks he was a pig-headed arrogant prick and Sanji just didn't go for it. Zoro was the sort of guy you fought with, not fucked. Plus; he knew he was straight. They'd talked about women. He hadn't let Zoro know that he didn't mind a man occasionally, dumb marimo would probably tell Nami and Robin that he was a fag. Fuck that.

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But he could tell by the way Zoro talked that he was straight. Painfully and rigidly straight. But the scared look in his eyes when Sanji walked into the room… The hurried exits and breaking away mid-fight to run off and hide in the crows nest… This was a Zoro he had not seen before. It almost made the bastard seem human.

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Then he saw him watching. At first he thought he was just waiting for him to finish in the galley so he could sneak in and get some sake without Sanji abusing him. He _had _been abusing him rather a lot. It was just so funny to see the guy scurrying away with his tail between his legs. Made Sanji laugh every time.

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But whenever the cook left and came back, there was the bastard again. He couldn't figure it out. Unless…. No. It just wasn't possible.

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Sanji had mulled over the possibility for a little while and then decided it couldn't be true… but when Zoro's behaviour around him just got weirder and weirder he had to check… Nothing drastic. Just a little thing to try to figure out what was happening in that oaf's thick green head.

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One day while he was serving a fantastic beef broth that he had made out of the last salt beef (that Luffy hadn't scoffed on his damn midnight raids) he leaned over Zoro and made to grab the ladle from in front of him. As he did it, he brushed the swordsman's cheek with his hair, ever so softly.

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Normally, Zoro would have practically taken his head off. He would have jumped the table, pinned Sanji to it, and proceeded to give him a lecture about personal space comprised entirely of four-letter words. Instead, he drew a sharp little breath and froze, just where he was. He kept perfectly still until Sanji had leaned over him, grabbed the ladle and sat down. Then he let out a soft little sigh.

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Oh boy. This was going to be fun.

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Want more…? Visit me on LJ: synvamp


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